Serving in the church

Update:there's a possibility I will not be able to serve at my church. But I'm only a little disheartened. I gave it to God to sort out for me. I know He has plans for me, and I know He will guide me and use me how and where He sees fit. ❤

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What roles do you take on at church? I am a member of a very new church. I first jumped in, both feet, in the deep end, and drowned. Now that I'm out of the pool and dried off, I'm ready to slowly enter again. I'll wear floaties, swimmies and I'll grab a life vest just in case. Oh, and I'm taking the stairs in the shallow end this time too :)

So, I'm just trying to figure out where to start. What gifts do I have that I can use at church? How do I figure that out? Lemme guess, pray. 😒

I tried nursery, but got burnt out. I tried making a calendar but it wasn't needed. I tried helping with a directory but that fell through. I joined the NETS team passing out tracts, however no one would be my partner so I couldn't do my routes. I offered to help plan a party but the meeting time and location didn't work out. I signed up to bring food but it wasn't needed. I enjoyed our weekly prayer meetings but now with their time and location I haven't been able to. I do not feel children's church is where I should be. That role takes amazing talent that I know hasn't been bestowed upon me just yet. I'm pretty good at putting chairs away but I'm not feeling adequate doing that. There's gotta be other things I can do, or attempt to do, got any ideas? Should I revisit some of the duties I have tried previously and pray for a better outcome? I'm scared of the rejection though. I'd feel better trying something new.

I've never been a member of a church before so I don't understand the dynamics and I'm unaware of the different opportunities available to me to contribute to my church.

Help.

Thank you :)

Lord, is it time?
I'm waiting on you.
I don't belong here,
I fail at all I do.

Lord, is it time?
I long to see your face.
My journey here is through,
Take me to a better place.

Lord, is it time?
My days here are long.
The time feels right,
My heart can't be wrong!

Lord, it is time!
I've tried my best.
Let my heart heal,
Put my mind to rest.

Written by Amy L. DeAnda

My contribution = $0.00

Everyone feels more  important when they are contributing to something. In school we had to work in groups and we all had to help each other accomplish a goal. I remember my biology class. It was just me and one other person and our job was to disect something. I forget if it was a grasshopper or a crayfish.  Yes, I'm aware they are quite different. We both contributed though. They disected the thing, I watched. I wrote the report, they did the oral report. It all worked out, we both contributed and the project was a success. 

Now that i'm out of school, older, and have a family I have new goals and a new partner. My partner is my husband Pete. If I had to list our goals i'm sure they would look something like this:

> Grow in Christ together
> Raise our children to be successful leaders who follow Christ
> When we leave this world have a sense of accomplishment with little or no regrets.

Just as I have goals for us as a couple, I also have some personal goals too. Goals that unfortunately I feel I am inadequate at accomplishing. I want to help my family by contributing financially, however, I'm failing at that. I have come to terms with the fact that I am a stay-at-home-mom. It took me a little over 6 months to realize that for the first time. I am constantly on the edge of my seat waiting for the Lord to provide me with an income. Its because of this that I am not giving this "job" my all. So, I decided to homeschool. *pick your jaw up off the floor* Yes, I said it. I am going to homeschool. Now, I'll admit, because i'm still waiting for that wonderful employment opportunity, I am quick to remind family and friends that I am only committed to homeschooling kindergarten, we will see what happens next. I just want it all, ya know? I want to be an amazing homeschool family, I want to contribute financially, I want that strong marriage that is Christ centered. I want it all and I want it now! *lets have a moment of silence for my pity party*

All those 'wants' and what I need to do is focus on our needs. I'll have to post later about separating wants from needs and focusing on whats important at the moment.

I was raised by a single mother and she taught me the importance of being independent. She taught me to be financially stable. She taught me morals, respect and perseverence. I need to tap into those life skills and realize that i'm worth more than the money I could make. There's more to me than the ability to produce a paycheck. I have so much more to offer my family. Others see it, why don't I?

I have a huge problem of placing value on a woman by her occupation. I'm sure you can guess where I rate myself at the moment. I need to reprogram my mind. I'm sure its a process.

Daily I awake and begin the day in prayer asking the Lord to guide me. To remind me to put my goals aside and for him to show me His ways and what He would have me to do. Although I am not contributing financially at the moment, I pray that God will show me that i'm still contributing in other ways. I try to see it and place a big value on it, but sadly, I'm being quite hard-headed.

What are you watering?

So, kind of a random thought.

You know the saying the grass is always greener on the other side? Then you have people who say the grass is greener where you tend to it most. This popped into my mind when I was thinking about God planting those seeds and as we encounter others, or other experiences. It gets watered more and more until that lil seed that was planted has bloomed. I am pretty sure that i'm oblivious to the many seeds which have been planted. I remember a time when I needed to be humbled *yeah, not so much fun* I recall moments when I had to grow in my faith and trust. I know that I still need humility and growth and oh my so much more! I want to water those seeds that have been planted! I want to be changed. I want my love in the Lord to grow, to blossom, to be exuberant and vibrant and beautiful!! However, I have no idea which seeds have been planted. Oh sure, I can name a few, but I want to spend my time growing every inch, every way possible! I don't want to leave one..NOT ONE SINGLE SEED UNWATERED!! I want to grow. I want to feel myself growing into a more mature Christian. I think I need water. I need to be submersed. I need to know that I'm maturing, growing and blossoming.

And to prayer i'm heading....

Baby Landon

Today I have the privilege of caring for a precious lil boy named Landon. He's under 6 mos. old. A few people expressed concern how my children would respond to me sharing my time with a newbie.

So far this morning, Wyatt has been concerned of the noise level of Laci and the television as he doesn't want to hurt the little babys ears.

Laci has taken the role of being a friend by making sure Landon can see his lil stuffed doggy at all times.

I'm so impressed that my children are so gentle and nurturing at such a young age! <3

My Church

I currently do not have a home church. I have been attending the same church for about 6-7 years now. One of the first things I've learned about a church, is that it's not a building. A church is the group of people who meet there. The followers of Christ who all come together to worship and praise the Lord. That's what a church is.

I have wanted to belong to that church for a few years now, but it seems I always allow something to get in the way. I don't like that I allow that to happen. I'm sure Satan does though. He knows exactly what buttons to push to get me to question whether or not i'm in the right place.

I have been praying about it, and when I do, I awake to feeling renewed, determined, that i'm right where he wants me to be, and I feel as though there are changes I'm supposed to be helping occur at this church. But then, I look at the opposition i'm facing and I decide that it's not my place. Who am I to just join a church and request changes! That's asinine!  Wouldn't it make sense to feel the spiritual needs that my family has, and seek out a church that can accommodate them? However, our spiritual needs change constantly! We can't just go jumping from church to church depending on what mood we're in!!!

Many family and friends know how many churches I have frequented. This is the only church where I really feel his presence. Where I can leave there feeling closer to Jesus, longing to spend time with Him. It's a great high.

I recently wrote about not wanting to be a seat warmer. Wanting to get up and take action and do more. Well, sadly, I haven't done anything in that aspect. In fact, I've been pushed back down the couple of times that I have tried. I'm still determined to get right back up though.

I have friends and family that pray daily. Please keep me in prayer that no matter how many times Satan trips me up, I will continue to get up and get closer to Jesus.