Usually when I get some free time I like to pop open the Word and begin reading. I like to imagine that the page the bible opens to is what i'm guided to read. Last night was Psalm 23. I've read this many times before but reading it last night meant a bit more to me. I guess I dug a bit deeper into something i've learned to memorize but not fully understand.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
As a child, having this memorized was a pretty neat thing since it was "so long" lol but they were just empty words. Check out all those great things the Lord does for me! He's my shepherd! I'll have all my needs met! He makes me rest, guides me to where He wants me to be...and on and on and on....I had fun marking up my bible with all those great words of his presence in my life.
As I read each verse slowly...I got to thinking....
He MAKES me lie down , he LEADS me, he GUIDES me....wow, strong words. I'm picturing a loving Father who just wants his child to do right. And there's a child who is kicking and screaming and pulling in the other direction. Why would anyone have to MAKE someone lie down in green pastures? or LEAD them besides still waters, that sounds like a perfect vacation to me! Yet, here I am trying to rush through life, trying to "get through" the day. Not enjoying the wonderful "green pastures" and "still waters" that the Lord has provided for me to enjoy, to take in, to refresh myself. Seeing as how a shepherd knows more about his sheeps needs, than the sheep itself, its safe to assume my Shepherd knows more about my needs than I do.
I can't imagine what it would be like, or how I would feel if I just went one day...yes...ONE DAY...cooperating with what He has planned for me each day. Not only would I be rested and refreshed, but I would be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually restored! Just the idea of what that would feel like gives me tingles way down to my toes!! Makes me want to shout! YIPPPEEE!!
In my prayers today I will pray that I am not MADE to do anything and that I go willingly, happily and without constraint to wherever He wants me to be.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
stressin'
My mind is all over the place today!
I'm concerned because the child care center where I work had a surprise inspection last week. I failed miserably. There were many out of compliances. The only positive part was all the out of compliances were regarding employee and staff files, the condition of the building and the classrooms were all in compliance, so I have made progress with that :0) but...is that good enough? I'm concerned because I dont want to lose my job. When I first got this position, I was praying that I would find a place where I would be able to put forth my full potential and make a difference as I felt I was lacking that where I used to work. But now i'm feeling overwhelmed and like i'm not good enough for this! My supervisor has already threatened to shut the doors if I didnt begin to bring in more money, I feel I have raised the monthly income, but now this! Why am I not good enough to do this? UGH!!!! During these times I wish I was a stay at home mom so I didnt have the stresses of a working wife/mom! But then again the thought of not working makes me sad too lol. I know I can't have my cake and eat it too, although right now lemon pie as sour as it is seems all I can take.
Lets see, I need some positive stuff......
Wyatt went pee in the potty yesterday! and.....he is now in a big boy bed and he slept there ALL night last night, i must admit it was GREAT having the bed child-free!
I love blogging as I type I start to reflect on what i'm writing and sometimes answers come to me. Maybe I just need to prioritize, and let God take the reigns. (I would say wheel but with the snow coming reigns sound better) So, God, obviously number one. He needs to be who I aim to please. I need to obey Him. Next, I put my family. They are all healthy and great, well taken care of. Then there's me :0) and finally, work....I guess I need to stop putting work first. I dont want to spend my weekend involved in work when I can be making memories with my wonderful husband and child...right? right!
Its so difficult for me to pray and then trust that God's hand is in the mix so I no longer need to be concerned. I know that if its in His will then things will be okay...but the question is WHEN??? since its in His time. I've repeatedly asked him for a watch that tells His time, but i've yet to get one...guess its not TIME for that yet either!
I'm concerned because the child care center where I work had a surprise inspection last week. I failed miserably. There were many out of compliances. The only positive part was all the out of compliances were regarding employee and staff files, the condition of the building and the classrooms were all in compliance, so I have made progress with that :0) but...is that good enough? I'm concerned because I dont want to lose my job. When I first got this position, I was praying that I would find a place where I would be able to put forth my full potential and make a difference as I felt I was lacking that where I used to work. But now i'm feeling overwhelmed and like i'm not good enough for this! My supervisor has already threatened to shut the doors if I didnt begin to bring in more money, I feel I have raised the monthly income, but now this! Why am I not good enough to do this? UGH!!!! During these times I wish I was a stay at home mom so I didnt have the stresses of a working wife/mom! But then again the thought of not working makes me sad too lol. I know I can't have my cake and eat it too, although right now lemon pie as sour as it is seems all I can take.
Lets see, I need some positive stuff......
Wyatt went pee in the potty yesterday! and.....he is now in a big boy bed and he slept there ALL night last night, i must admit it was GREAT having the bed child-free!
I love blogging as I type I start to reflect on what i'm writing and sometimes answers come to me. Maybe I just need to prioritize, and let God take the reigns. (I would say wheel but with the snow coming reigns sound better) So, God, obviously number one. He needs to be who I aim to please. I need to obey Him. Next, I put my family. They are all healthy and great, well taken care of. Then there's me :0) and finally, work....I guess I need to stop putting work first. I dont want to spend my weekend involved in work when I can be making memories with my wonderful husband and child...right? right!
Its so difficult for me to pray and then trust that God's hand is in the mix so I no longer need to be concerned. I know that if its in His will then things will be okay...but the question is WHEN??? since its in His time. I've repeatedly asked him for a watch that tells His time, but i've yet to get one...guess its not TIME for that yet either!
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