My seat at church is warm, cozy, and has a great view

I never thought that would be a problem! I was reading this morning and the Lord found a way to speak to me in a way that I will listen. He speaks to me often, I'm just not the best at listening. This time, He reached out through  words and i'm feeling guilty. Guilty enough to blog no less!

The church I attend is going through many changes. The changes that are taking place are not just changes with programming, or decorations, I now see the changes that are being made by the people who attend the church. They are changing, becoming more Jesus centered.

One of the first things I noticed about the change, is the building itself is a little different. The decorations are different, things are in different places. It's a small change, but for a church that has always looked the same, those small differences are noticed immediately. It might be the small bulletin board decoration, a new toy in the nursery, or the rooms are switched. Whatever those small changes are, they are just a peek into the bigger changes that are going on.

The next thing I noticed was the change in programs. Once again, small changes, but good changes. Children's church in the morning, men's bible study, infant pantry.

As I sit in my pew, my comfy, warm, cozy pew, I see all these changes. Where am I in these changes?

The church I attend is changing, i'm just sitting back watching it all happen. Kind of like in Autumn, watching the leaves change color day by day.

As relaxing as that sounds, sitting back observing, it's not where I want to be, its not what I want to be doing. It's quite obvious that I need changed too! I've been sitting so still in my pew, I wonder if i've just become one of the decorations lol

I'd love to see these new programs grow our church, not just in numbers, but really see myself and those around me grow as Christians. I will not grow as a Christian if i'm not fully supporting these programs. If i'm just sitting, waiting for change, and not being the change, then the church isn't changing. We can add 12 new programs, offer amazing praise services, we could have so many people attend our church that we'd only have standing room only, but, if we're not fully committed to fulfilling God's goals for ourselves and others, then it doesn't matter how good our church looks from the outside, we'd still be apart from God. So, while it's easy, and comfortable to sit in my pew, watching others work hard to grow our church into a powerful God fearing group, it's not what God has intended for me.

My church needs me to be a Christian, to give my all to Him, allow Jesus to work through me, continue to grow by obeying Him, if everyone lived everyday for Jesus, every moment, every minute, every second, imagine the power churches would have!

It's not enough to have programs, special speakers, and many attendee's, if you don't have people dedicated to the Lord, are you really doing the best for your church?

When God makes changes in our lives, not everyone stays around to be part of the new us He is molding us to be. Sometimes we feel completely broken, to our lowest, but we must remember that to become who He wants us to be, may mean that we go through some rough times.

The church (as a whole) goes through the same change a person does as it grows to become more like Jesus. Everyone at your church (whether they want to be part of the change or not) is influencing how Christ-like they become. Every church member is responsible for their role in moving their church forward. I am simply a seat warmer. I'm part of the change and didn't realize the effect I am having on my church. The changes going on around me are for His glory. By not taking part in these changes, I am choosing to be a weak link for my church family. If you think of a tree, I'm one of those branches that hang low and bang against the window that eventually gets cut off b/c it's not bearing any fruit. It's just a nuisance.

I need to bring some vitality back. I don't want to be the seat warmer, I don't want to watch everyone try to fulfill God's purpose while I remain an observer. I want to be part of the action.

So, I'm gonna do the work I need to do, to move my church forward. To make sure I am doing everything for God. I want to be more like Jesus, and I want everyone to see Jesus working through me for His glory. I'm ready to give up my comfy cozy seat in the pew, and get up and take action!

I'm not sure where to go from here, but I'll begin with prayer, and wait for His answer.

Laundry day!

Wyatt has been potty trained for awhile now, but I'm noticing he will still wet the bed if he's distracted. Which is kind of annoying. An idea that was given to me, was when this happens, make Wyatt wash his own bedding. I'm giving it a try and I'll keep you updated on how it works.

                                                        This is after he stripped the bed

                                                          The long haul down the stairs

                                                Bundling them up for the trip to the basement

                                                           And finally, into the washer!

SkOoL'd by my 3 year old

This morning we were driving to my in-laws house, they watched Wyatt while Laci went to a Dr. appt. On the way there I was listening to Yes FM and there was a Christian rap song on. When it was over, I turned the station. Wyatt asked me if this song was about Jesus too. I replied, no. He asked if she was singing about God. I replied, no. Then he asked "Then why are you listening to it?"

I often tell myself that i'm not surrounding myself with enough positive influence. I know one of the things I need to change is the music I listen to. Which by the way, the song that was on, was not a bad song, just wasn't praising God. But he has a point, why am I choosing to listen to it, when I was listening to Yes FM a few minutes before. Why did I change it?

I didn't have an answer. But now I feel convicted about the music I'm listening to. Why would I throw away an opportunity to listen to music that praises the Prince of Peace? Lord of Lords? My Savior? Why would I pass that up just to listen to a song that didn't hold any value to me.

Thanks for opening my eyes, Wyatt. I love you!

Just so you know, it really wasn't a BAD song, its just the point of why did I pass up one for the other? I'm still pondering on that one.

The song I was listening to was Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

[Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

                                                       Well, at least she mentions 'pray' ;)

where to go from here?

Being a stay at home mom, hasn't turned into what I thought it was going to. First of all, it took me six months to realize that I was a stay at home mom. I spent six months wondering and praying if being a stay at home mom was what God had intended for me at this moment. SIX MONTHS!!! Six months I wasted, those six months I cannot get back. I didn't do anything useful for His glory during those six months!! Well, its now been 9 months!! 9 months that I spend day in, and day out, trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing! This is driving me crazy! I spend time with the kids, I take them places, I teach them some basics, but at the end of the day, I still feel incomplete. I feel as though I'm missing the mark on this one. I feel as though there's SOMETHING that I'm supposed to be doing, that i'm just not figuring it out. I've been meaning to pray about it, but I'll be honest, my list of those who I need to pray for is so long, that by the time I get to me, (Jesus, Others, Yourself) I'm outta time, I'm either distracted by one of the children, or it may be time to make dinner, or I may just fall asleep due to exhaustion from the busy day. The only hope i'm holding on to, is that Jesus knows my heart, He knows what i'm going through, what i'm thinking, and the help I'm needing. I just need time to listen. As i'm sure many of you know, listening is NOT one of my best traits. I'm tired of wasting my time not knowing what i'm supposed to be doing. I used to think the saying was "don't just sit there, do something!" but now I've learned you shouldn't just do something, sit there, until God tells you what to do. U.G.H. times like these I wish He would communicate through a burning bush or something. :/