Being a stay at home mom, hasn't turned into what I thought it was going to. First of all, it took me six months to realize that I was a stay at home mom. I spent six months wondering and praying if being a stay at home mom was what God had intended for me at this moment. SIX MONTHS!!! Six months I wasted, those six months I cannot get back. I didn't do anything useful for His glory during those six months!! Well, its now been 9 months!! 9 months that I spend day in, and day out, trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing! This is driving me crazy! I spend time with the kids, I take them places, I teach them some basics, but at the end of the day, I still feel incomplete. I feel as though I'm missing the mark on this one. I feel as though there's SOMETHING that I'm supposed to be doing, that i'm just not figuring it out. I've been meaning to pray about it, but I'll be honest, my list of those who I need to pray for is so long, that by the time I get to me, (Jesus, Others, Yourself) I'm outta time, I'm either distracted by one of the children, or it may be time to make dinner, or I may just fall asleep due to exhaustion from the busy day. The only hope i'm holding on to, is that Jesus knows my heart, He knows what i'm going through, what i'm thinking, and the help I'm needing. I just need time to listen. As i'm sure many of you know, listening is NOT one of my best traits. I'm tired of wasting my time not knowing what i'm supposed to be doing. I used to think the saying was "don't just sit there, do something!" but now I've learned you shouldn't just do something, sit there, until God tells you what to do. U.G.H. times like these I wish He would communicate through a burning bush or something. :/
2 comments:
Ya know... I think it would be ok if you prayed for yourself first. Sounds like you could use it. :) Get yourself on track and confident that you are doing the right thing. Get yourself filled up and living in God's grace. If you don't you won't be able to help others. Take the time to pray for YOU! It's ok!
Being a stay at home mom is a high calling! It's also exhausting. Find ways to connect with other adults throughout the weeks too. Get involved in some groups and do things for you too.
And don't be afraid to DO something. Sometimes we waste way too much time sitting around waiting to hear from God when he has already clearly told us to do things through His Word. Find ways to love your neighbors and help others, to encourage others, etc.
I've been hearing from many people that I need to find time for myself. I guess I just didn't want to be selfish, but I also don't want to lose my identity of who I am.
Thanks Laura!
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